My first day I was super nervous and hesitant to start. My brain was panicking... 'What if I don't have ADHD and I somehow made it up and tricked the doctor',
'what if the stimulant gives me a panic attack',
'what if my heart starts racing so hard that I die'.
Needless to say I was filled with 'what ifs'.
Luckily I have a very kind doctor who understands my fears and gently encouraged me to try it out, he said that, if worst came to worst, I simply wouldn't like the meds and would never have to take them again, but that it was worth a shot. (he was right!)
I hesitantly swallowed the pill (Concerta - also known as methylpehnidate), I was put on the lowest possible dose of 18mg.
I immediately tried to distract myself so that I wouldn't obsess about side effects.
10 mins in...nothing
1 hour in...nothing
I went to do an art class with some friends and still felt nothing...but then in the art class something magical happened...
For the first time since I can remember...
I got so lost in my art project that I forget about everything else!
I got into a state of flow, my brain became quiet, and all I wanted to do was continue drawing. It was so strange and also amazing!
When art finished my brain could only think about one thing, and that was continuing to draw!
So I did continue to draw on my own FOR ABOUT 3 HOURS. I wasn't in the mood to socialise and when my friends did talk to me they could tell I was not in the mood to converse.
So I would say I felt the effects of the meds the strongest from hours 2-6.
I could feel my heart pounding strongly at some point while drawing, but I was so in the zone of my art that it didn't bother me and I simply took some deep breaths and reminded myself that: 'this is a stimulant and most people's heart rates do go up the first couple of days and then readjust to normal'.
I also realised that I completely forgot to eat while I was in the drawing zone, so it may have stunted my appetite - but only a little bit.
The amazing thing is, my head went quiet, for the first time ever, and I kept thinking: 'is this how quiet normal peoples minds are?'
'Do they not have conintuous noise and continuous conversations going on in their heads?'
'Is it this easy for them to focus on something?'
I could feel the effects taper down after about 7 hours, as that's when I went to hang out with friends and socialise.
I could still feel that my mind just felt different, I couldn't put a word on it, other than something was different - but in a good way!
Like for Part 2 - My First Week on ADHD medication!
Hope you enjoyed this!💕
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